


Happy National Horny Day, South Park!

by EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken6604



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bad Jokes, Butts, Come Swallowing, Comedy, Consent Issues, Dirty Talk, Doggy Style, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Face-Fucking, Face-Sitting, Flirting, Foursome, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Friends With Benefits, Horny Teenagers, Hypnotism, Logic, M/M, Magic, Making Out, Mind Control, Mutual Masturbation, Rimming, Sexual Content, Sharing Clothes, Spit As Lube, Twerking, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:15:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24494884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken6604/pseuds/EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken6604
Summary: Kenny, Clyde, and Craig decide to make little business cards with the definition of National Horny Day- April 16th, in which anyone may ask anyone else for any sexual act- on them, as a joke. However, they soon discover these cards have a mysterious hypnotic power, and after testing them on each other and Kyle, they prepare to put them to good use on the rest of the town...
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Craig Tucker, Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Happy National Horny Day, South Park!

Craig surreptitiously darted his eyes around the dark alley. They should be here soon...Maybe he'd come early. 

_Heh. Come._

He didn't want to wait very long—and he didn't have to! Soon, another pair of eyes joined him in the darkness.

"Hi, Craig!" said a happy, nasal voice. "You excited?!"

"Hell yeah, I am. I mean, I know nothing'll come of it, but it'll be funny at least.”

"Yep. Soon as Kenny gets here, we can get started!" Clyde jumped and clapped his hands a bit, and Craig chuckled at his antics. 

"Somebody mention me?"

Clyde turned toward the far end of the alley, where the voice had come from, and exclaimed "Kenny!"

A second pair of brown eyes appeared, and they heard a quiet laugh. "Yep, here I am, boys," Kenny said. "I got the cards right here!"

"Nice," Craig said with an approving nod. 

"Lemme just pass 'em out…" They then heard some fumbling around in the dark, a few choice curse words, and something hitting something else. 

"Why don't we turn on the light?" Clyde hesitantly suggested.

Craig sighed. "We're in an alley. There's no—"

A swift "click" cut him off, and the area was flooded with light from a bulb mounted on the brick wall. 

"Huh," he said, impressed. 

Hearing a pained groan, Craig and Clyde looked down to see Kenny had fallen onto his butt, and was now holding his knee in pain. Small laminated pieces of paper were strewn about him. 

"You good, dude?" asked Clyde. He extended his hand as a gesture of comfort. 

"Yeah…" Kenny groaned and took Clyde's hand, and Clyde helped him up. "Anyway, here's the cards." He handed them each a piece of paper and took one for himself.

Craig squinted at it. "National Horny Day is on April 16th."

Clyde began reading aloud with him, with a big stupid grin on his face. "Anyone can ask anyone for any sexual content (i.e., nudes) and/or actions."

Kenny giggled, mischief in every movement. "You're dang right. I told Kyle to wait nearby—I'm gonna go try it on him. He won't say yes, but it'll be funny. Clyde, you mind pickin' up the rest of those in case someone else wants one?"

"No prob, Ken doll," Clyde acquiesced, winking and swiftly bending over to gather up the rest of the little cards. 

As Kenny stepped out of the alley, Craig started to follow him, then stopped. "Hey- hey, Clyde," he said, laughing a little. He held up the card, and continued, "Heh...Stay bent over, I wanna touch your butt."

Clyde snickered and snorted right along with him. "Yeah, I bet." He picked up all the business cards and stashed them into his pocket, but stayed bent over. "Okay, go ahead."

"Huh? Dude, I was just kidding."

"Oh. Well, you can do it anyway! It _is_ National Horny Day, after all!"

Craig squinted at Clyde. Those jeans the brunette dork was wearing were a little tight, and his ass did look nice and thick, but still...Craig kept the card held up and experimentally said, "Stand back up." 

Clyde did so with a smile.

"...Bend over again."

He immediately leaned down and arched his back again. 

Craig's brow furrowed. "Do a handstand against that wall and twerk."

Clyde stood up, jogged over to the wall, and turned around. He fell forward, landed on his hands, and pressed against the wall with his legs spread. His hips shook and his ass wobbled as he obeyed Craig's request with seemingly no hesitation. Craig, mostly out of instinct, gave him a light swat on the ass, then requested that he get down and stop.

"This is weird," mused Craig.

"Yeah, I just felt like what you were askin' wasn't a big deal. Like, 'oh, it's the day for it, so of course I'll do it'." Clyde hummed quietly, then gasped, starry-eyed. "Ooh, ooh, lemme try it out on you!" He held up the card, and with a loud and dramatic trill to his voice, declared, "Rrrremove your shirt and flex for me!"

A sudden wave of calm washed over Craig, but it felt somehow different from his usual stoic stiff-upper-lip-ness. Clyde wanted him to take off his shirt? Of course! Clyde was his friend, and it was Horny Day, so he couldn't just say no even if he had wanted to—but why _would_ he want to? It was no big deal, really…

Clyde watched in awe as Craig removed his shirt and flexed his ample pecs and biceps. A few drops of sweat from the warm light and humid air dripped down his toned body. Clyde reached out and placed his hands on Craig's chest, then rubbed them all over his torso; soon, he gave up on trying to be reserved and just gave Craig a big ol' hug, pressing his face against Craig's broad chest…

Meanwhile, Kenny had walked a short distance from the alleyway to a clothes store, which Kyle was waiting in front of. 

"Yo, ginger stud," Kenny called out with a wave.

Kyle waved back, and as Kenny approached, squinted at him. "Hello, O dear Kenneth. What's the deal? You told me to come here but didn't tell me why."

Kenny covered his mouth for a second to suppress a laugh. Though he tried to disguise it as a cough, it didn't work very well, and he just ended up sounding like he was choking. "Oh, just you—" He had to stop talking to gasp for breath. "—wait. It'll be great."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "I'm all for a bit of dramatic flair, but please hurry it up. I'm hungry."

Kenny grinned. "Okay, you asked for it!" Flourishing his hand, he produced the card from behind his back, and said (trying to enunciate and avoid breaking into laughter), "As today, April 16th, is National Horny Day, you, Kyle Broflovski, must carry out any lewd request I give you! And I request for your fine Callipygian derriere to be planted on my face forthwith."

After a brief second of hesitation, Kyle said, in a much calmer tone, "Of course. No problem."

"Huh? You're actually gonna do it?"

"Naturally. You asked, and as you said, I have to do it. So, please lie down and I'll sit on your face."

Kenny shrugged and dropped to the ground, resting his arms behind his head so lying on the pavement wouldn't hurt. "Do it!" he excitedly said.

"Would you like my pants to be on or off?"

"Off, duh! I want aaaall that ass on my face." Kenny shut his eyes and rubbed his cheeks, giggling. 

Kyle nodded. He performed some quick, efficient movements and had his undergarments off in seconds. Kenny's eyes bulged out of their sockets in anticipation, as he stared at Kyle's bare, jiggling cheeks; a small part of his asshole was visible through all that thickness. And it was only getting more visible as Kyle stood over Kenny and slowly squatted closer...

"By the way, 'Callipygian' was very nice, but another word you could use to describe my ass is 'brobdingnagian'," Kyle offhandedly said. "It makes you sound smart—which you desperately need—it's alliterative…"

"Bouncing brobdingnagian bubble butt!" Kenny spouted, before grinning. "It is! But…" His brow furrowed. "What's it mean?"

"It originates from the island of giants in the Jonathon Swift novel _Gulliver's Travels_. It means…" Kyle smirked as his ass moved nearer and nearer to Kenny's face and blocked out more of his vision. "Of huge size." With that, he sat down fully and sighed with relief. "Ah, this is quite nice."

Kenny's tongue immediately darted into Kyle's tight hole, making the ginger blush a bit despite himself. His hands moved of their own accord; though they no longer protected the back of his head from the hard concrete, they were sinking deep into the mounds of fat that surrounded his face. Kenny hadn't even thought about doing either of those things—they had just happened. He was still a bit in shock that this was actually happening, so he wasn't quite sure what to do, but his horny instincts had him covered. 

Kenny remained there for a good few minutes, passionately making out with Kyle's hole and kneading his butt. He would occasionally toss out a compliment, something quick like "So thick" or "More of that, cutie", to which Kyle would shake his rear a bit and smile. Sadly, he eventually remembered he had to breathe, and said, voice muffled, "Geroff 'e." Kyle stood up, and Kenny lurched forward so he was sitting on the ground.

"Whoo!" Kenny gasped, putting a hand on his chest. His face was bright red and his hair a frizzy mess. "That was fun."

"Mhm." Kyle glanced behind him at his slightly bruised, saliva-dripping rear. "Is there anything else you want to do? I can't help but notice you didn't cum, which seems less than ideal."

He was right, Kenny realized. Though his dick was now rock-hard and desperate for release..."Oh, right. Uh, how 'bout I keep usin' my mouth? You can facefuck me against a wall or something."

"Right away." 

Kyle placed his hands on Kenny's shoulders, shoved him against the side wall of the store, and rubbed the exposed tip of his dick on the blond's lips. Kenny's mouth fell open in surprise, and Kyle's dick slowly slipped between them. Kenny suckled on it, whining and wiggling his butt as he impatiently waited for Kyle to facefuck him already. He had always prided himself on having the biggest dick in town, and with how much he slept around, it was common knowledge...but he would never say no to a good pounding, even from bottom-heavy twinks like Kyle. Kenny could be superficial when it came to sex, often only needing some physical feature to fixate on- a big ass or dick, some shapely thighs, or a nice round pair of breasts- but he knew that size wasn't everything. Kyle had this confident attitude that Kenny adored, but unfortunately, it seemed that attitude wasn't as strong today...why was that? 

Oh well, no point in worrying now. He had to focus on sucking dick! The most important of all tasks.

Kyle's shaft continued to slide into Kenny's mouth, slowly and gently. Kenny pouted—as best he could with a dick in his mouth—and said, "You 'on't gotta be sho gen'le."

"Hm?" Kyle squinted down at him, but didn't move.

Kenny shot air out of his nose and said, "'Ake it ou'…"

Kyle immediately pulled his curvy hips back and slid his dick out of Kenny’s lips with a “shlich” sound that he rather enjoyed. “What did you mean to say?” he asked. 

“I _said_ , you don’t gotta be so gentle. You’re being calmer than usual. Y’know, dominate me! Really fuck my mouth! Make me choke.”

“Of course,” said Kyle, in the same relaxed and calm voice. 

Kenny initially sighed, thinking Kyle hadn’t gotten the message, but was swiftly proven wrong as Kyle grabbed him by the hair and thrust forward. Kyle’s dick was buried within the soft, wet cavern of Kenny’s mouth, but he didn’t stop to relish the feeling for long; he kept thrusting at speed, his balls smacking against Kenny’s chin with each decisive movement. Kenny’s eyes fluttered and rolled back, and he weakly moaned, Kyle’s assault making it difficult to breathe. Luckily Kyle wasn’t the biggest out there, or he probably wouldn’t have been able to breathe through his nose either!

Kenny’s arms entwined around Kyle's waist and squished against his thighs. Though they were shaking from Kyle’s relentless pounding, his hands managed to find their way to Kyle’s cheeks, and his fingers hungrily sunk into them. They crept closer and closer to the ginger’s exposed asshole. Kenny’s squeezing and sucking faltered a bit as he focused intently on his goal; soon, he plunged a finger into the vulnerable entrance. Kyle yelped and glared down at him, but did nothing else. 

Though desperate breaths, and constant “glk” and “shlrp” noises, Kenny said: “You can do whatever you want…”

Kyle’s gaze shifted to the card in Kenny’s pocket, and he obeyed. He leveraged the grip on Kenny’s hair, pulling the blond into his thrusts and making him whine as his hair was yanked and his lips were forced to the base of Kyle’s dick. Kenny wiggled his ass again and swirled his tongue around the shaft fucking his throat. 

“Mm, just like that,” Kyle purred, his voice smooth despite the situation. “Good boy. Your poor dick- it’s so big and clearly needs relief, but it won’t do you any good here. Use your fingers some more.”

Kenny mumbled an “Mhm” and slid another finger into his pucker. He pumped them back and forth, and teasingly wiggled them around, enjoying the way Kyle’s slick, tight inner walls convulsed around them. A third finger made its way inside, making Kyle tense up; his hole tightened around Kenny’s fingers, but Kenny didn’t stop, continuing to finger that big booty as best he could. 

“G-good…” panted Kyle. “I’m going to, ah, flood your throat...Ready?”

Kenny nodded. Kyle’s rutting became stronger and faster. Kenny was pinned against the wall and slightly squeezed between Kyle’s thighs, until Kyle thrust forward once more. His throat _was_ flooded with cum, wonderfully warm sticky stuff, as Kyle panted and moaned above him. Kenny, being the slut he was, happily drank it all down until Kyle let go of him and stepped back. 

The blond reluctantly stopped touching Kyle’s butt, kissed the tip of his dick, which still dripped a small bit, and cheerfully thanked him. 

“It’s no issue. You still haven’t came yet—Is there anything else you’d like to do?”

Kenny wiped the saliva from his mouth with his sleeve, then stood up. “Aren’t you tired?” he asked, putting one hand on Kyle’s shoulder. 

“Yes, but it’s National Horny Day. I’ve got to obey your requests, no?”

That didn’t sound like something Kyle would say. Well, it sounded like the refined way he spoke, and Kyle was a nice guy who always tried to do the right thing, but he would stop and rest if he were tired. 

“Hey Kyle, I got another request.”

“Name it.”

“Come with me.” Kenny turned around and began walking back to the alley where he’d left the others, but then stopped as he saw Kyle begin to follow him immediately. “And pull your pants up.” Despite his desire to figure out what manner of bullshittery was happening here, his desire for booty was great too, and so he added, “But face away from me while ya do it.”

Kyle did so. As he tried to tug his jeans up, he found they were too small and his behind too big. He couldn’t fit the scratchy tight denim over his ass, and every try just made the waistband push against his cheeks and cause them to wobble. Kenny didn't seem to mind, though: he was watching with half-lidded eyes and licking his lips. 

“Aww…” he purred in a deep voice. “Poor Kyle’s too thick to even wear skinny jeans. Keep tryin’, cutie, you’ll get it eventually.”

Kyle blushed despite the calm feeling washing over him, and tried a few times with more energy. It didn’t work, and his ass continued bouncing, but he felt it had been a bit easier that time. 

“Need my help?”

“...Yes,” sighed Kyle. 

Kenny stepped closer—close enough to rub his dick against Kyle’s bare ass—and grabbed hold of his waistband. Together, they managed to pull Kyle's jeans back up, and Kyle breathed a quiet sigh of relief once he was clothed again. 

He smiled and gratefully said "Thank you." 

Kenny backed up, stretched his arms over his head, and grinned. "Hey, no need to thank me. Dat ass is reward enough. Though, uh, I wouldn't mind a kiss."

Kyle started to lean towards Kenny, but Kenny frowned and held up his hand. "No, this doesn't feel right. I'll initiate it."

He put his hand on Kyle's waist, swept him close, and pressed their lips together. Kyle's eyes fluttered shut. He tried to respond to Kenny's relentless tonguing, but his thoughts felt impaired, like he was reacting just a moment too late. When Kenny pulled away, Kyle cleared his throat and willed the blood flushing his cheeks red to go somewhere else.

"Thanks for that," Kenny said, landing a few quick spanks on Kyle before turning around. "Now c'mon, let's get going."

Kyle hurried after. "Kenny, could I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you bring me in particular along? You're an attractive guy, you could have anyone you want."

Kenny stopped on a dime, and Kyle did the same, without even thinking about it. The blond sighed. "Well, obviously you're thick as fuck. But that's not the only reason." He paused to lick his lips and take a breath, then continued, "You're so passionate and kind. You're super smart; it's like you know everything. I look up to you, dude."

"I appreciate that, but...what does it have to do with wanting to have sex with me?"

"I wasn't expecting you to actually do it. I thought we'd have a good laugh and maybe hang out a bit."

"Would you prefer if we hung out now?" Kyle asked with a slight tilt of his head.

"No…" Kenny shook his head. "I think something weird is going on and I wanna figure that out first. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're one of my best friends in the whole world. I don't just think you're hot, I think you're really cool and nice and stuff. So, if you wanna be like, friends with benefits or somethin', I'd be more than happy to."

Kyle started to open his mouth. Kenny interrupted him: "You don't have to answer now. Just think about it, and if not, it's totally cool. I just don't want this to come between our friendship." His shoulder slumped. 

"You needn't worry about that—I enjoyed it too." Kyle patted Kenny's shoulder, and Kenny perked up. He had always been easy to cheer up. 

"Okay, cool! So...yeah, think about it!"

"I will. Now where were you taking me?"

Kenny gasped. "Oh, right! Clyde and Craig! Maybe they've figured somethin' out!" 

He abruptly took off running. As Kyle dashed after him, he spared a curious glance or two at Kenny's rear. For all the praise Kenny (and half the other people in the town, it seemed) lavished on Kyle's ass, his wasn't half bad either. It was oddly motivating, and he started to run a bit faster.

As Kenny rounded the corner into the alley, he had to blink and rub his eyes, to make sure he hadn’t passed out and started dreaming when Kyle was sitting on him. As far as he could tell, Craig was shirtless, leaning against a wall, and twerking against Clyde’s crotch. Clyde had his hands on Craig's hips and was caressing his muscles, while grinding on him in return and giggling. A moment later, he yanked his and Craig's pants down, and spanked Craig a few times.

“Heh-heh, I’m gonna fuck you raw,” Clyde snickered. He softly grabbed one of Craig’s cheeks and spread it to the side. “Daaamn…” He whistled, impressed at the tightness, and gradually slipped inside. It felt like his body started moving of its own accord, colliding with Craig repeatedly, getting faster and harder every time his waist hit the other’s muscled butt. It was only then that he noticed Kenny and Kyle on the far side of the alley. He welcomed them with “Hey, dudes!” before gripping Craig’s torso and leveraging it to thrust deeper and stronger. “Don’t mind us, just enjoying some Horny Day festivities.”

“Yeah, we did the same thing,” replied Kenny. 

Craig nodded. Kenny leaned towards him to get a better view...His deep green eyes had a slight glaze to them, like he wasn’t all there. That wasn’t like him at all…

Kyle fidgeted and shifted from one foot to the other. “Kenny? Do you mind if I step away for a bit? I’ll just wait outside the alleyway until they’re finished.”

“What for? Ya uncomfortable?” Kenny looked incredulous. “But we were foolin’ around in the middle of the street not five minutes ago.”

“Yes, but I don’t know them as well as I know you. We’re friendly, yes, but it feels weird. Plus, you have to admit Clyde can be a bit much.”

Clyde currently had his arms around Craig’s waist, his hands rubbing Craig’s pecs. “Yeah, you like when my fat balls hit yours?” he grunted. “You’re sooo strong...such a hunk…”

“I see what ya mean. But…” Kenny hummed to himself for a moment, then dug the card out of his pocket. “Why don’t ya stay here and jerk off to it instead?”

“I suppose if you’re asking…” 

Kyle started to pull his pants down again, but Kenny quickly spouted out a, “No, no, it’s cool.”

“But you just said—”

“Yeah, and _you_ said you didn’t want to. What made you change your mind?”

“I mean, you held up the card saying what day it was, and I—” Kyle stopped talking and furrowed his brow. “Now that _is_ odd. Hm.” He rubbed his chin, trying to think, but his stomach loudly growled and he sighed. “I’m still hungry, so it’s hard to focus...You can figure this out, can’t you? You’re pretty smart.”

Kenny blushed, mumbled something, waved his hand dismissively, and finally said, ‘Aw, shucks. Thanks, man. Yeah, I’ll get to the bottom of this, maybe end up goin’ on an adventure, the usual.” He snickered at the accidental joke. 

Kyle gave him a playful two-finger salute and walked away. Despite the sense of calm and tractability having vanished, he still stopped for a moment to shake his rear for Kenny, who approvingly wolf-whistled at him. 

His attention returned to Clyde pounding away at Craig’s ass and giddily laughing. “D-dude, your butt feels sooo good…” Clyde panted, tongue lolling out of his mouth like a dog’s. “I’m gonna…”

Kenny adjusted his ripped jeans to accommodate his erection that seemed like it’d never go down, and widened his eyes to get a better view. Clyde’s chubby thighs, and most of his body, were swaying in a strangely adorable way as he thrust into Craig. Craig, meanwhile, was as divine as ever, his muscular body glistening with sweat and his facial expression one of resigned contentment. Though he became a bit more expressive when Clyde’s arms tightened around him and pulled him as close as possible, before biting down on his ear and cumming deep inside him; his face twitched and shifted to one of pleasure, similar to Clyde’s but less extreme. 

Clyde slowly pulled away and gave Craig’s butt a gentle pat as his cum dripped (replace this later) out of it. “Woo, that was fun!”

Craig nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“Hey, Craig?” Kenny asked, approaching them. “Mind if I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure. Clyde, you rest up, okay? You wore yourself out.”

“I did not!” Clyde pouted, but sighed and leaned on a wall. 

Craig stood up, put his clothes back on, and stepped a short distance away with Kenny. 

“So, like, these cards are magic or something, right?” Kenny whispered. 

“Oh, 100%. Seems like they make people do sex stuff for ya. Clyde and I used them on each other a bit,” said Craig, gesturing over his shoulder at Clyde with his thumb. 

“Yeah, I did the same with Kyle. It was hot.” Kenny grinned. “How did ya feel when he used them on you?”

Craig rubbed his temples. “Man, you know I’m not good with explaining my feelings. Uh...I guess I felt sorta, relaxed. Like, normally I mighta said something, but I didn’t really feel like I needed to. Clyde said he felt the same way: like it wasn’t a big deal, of course he would do what I was asking ‘cause it was a holiday.”

“Kyle said stuff like that too!” Kenny gasped. He tapped his foot on the ground, accidentally getting a piece of gum stuck to his raggedy brown shoe. “Now I wanna see what kinds of stuff we can do with this power!” His cheeky grin got bigger.

“There don’t seem to be any side effects or anything—me and Clyde felt just fine once the feeling wore off. So maybe we _can_ just do whatever we want with these.”

“Why don’t we, heh, run a few more tests?” Kenny winked one of those charming hazel eyes at the other boy. He cupped a calloused hand to his mouth and called out, “Yo, Kyle! You mind comin’ back here?”

They heard a few quiet footsteps, then Kyle walked into their view. “Yes?” he inquired. 

“I hope I ain’t bothering you or anything. It’s just…” Kenny looked at Kyle with his best puppy-dog eyes and held the card at his side, facing forward so Kyle could still see the words typed on it. “I still didn’t cum yet, and since you were being so nice, I thought...maybe you’d let me do you?”

Kyle nodded. “Yes, I’d be happy to. My apologies for not helping you cum earlier.”

“It’s no issue at all, my favorite lil’ ginger candy.” Kenny leaned into Craig’s ear and whispered, “Now you tell Clyde to let him do you. We’ll have ‘em kiss and shit, it’ll be great.” 

Craig shrugged, flashed his card in Clyde’s direction, and said, “Hey, you fucked me so now I get to fuck you. Get that ass over here.”

Clyde froze for a moment, then said “Sure thing” and strode to them.

Kenny lackadaisically slapped Kyle’s backside and nudged him forward. Craig did nothing for a second, then said an awkward “Oh” and did the same to Clyde. At one swift gesture from Kenny, Kyle removed his pants and underwear as he had earlier, wiggling his ass again. “You do that too,” Craig quickly ordered Clyde, who did so. He made sure to appreciate the sight of Clyde shaking his ass while it lasted. 

“Damn, dude…” whispered Kenny. “I’m gonna wreck that ass.”

“Wait!” Craig put his hand on Clyde’s shoulder, making him turn back slightly. “You should, y’know, twerk and grind on us first. Stuff like that. Get us riled up.”

In a flash, Clyde arched his back and rubbed his ample butt on Craig, bouncing his hips to make it clap temptingly. Craig’s hands were drawn, almost magnetically, to his friend’s cheeks, and his fingers sunk satisfyingly into them. 

"No fair," Kenny teased. "Why don't I get a fat ass twerking on me? C'mon, Kyle, get to it."

Kyle obeyed, his movements and demeanor more similar to Clyde's than usual: less smooth. But they both seemed a bit less energetic, too. Kenny wondered just how much of an effect these strange cards had...

But right now, Kyle’s beautiful body was more important. Kenny pinched his posterior, then grinded on him some more. Warmth blossomed at his crotch and thrilled through him, making him shudder. Even if it was under some pretty weird circumstances, the sight of Kyle—his super cool and smart friend—bent over with his face burning scarlet, shaking his ass for him, was something else...

"Huh. You're shirtless and I'm not, Tucker," he remarked suddenly, as if he'd only just realized it. 

Craig snorted. "No shit, Sherlock. Get naked and let's fuck these two." He landed a sharp swat on Clyde's ass, eliciting a _slight_ yelp from the brown-haired boy. 

Kenny did a little shimmy as he slipped his clothes off. Though he let his shirt and undergarments fall to the ground, the hoodie was still clenched in his hand.

"Now that I think about it," he mused, "Kyle would look super cute with this on." He pecked the side of Kyle’s face. “Arms up.” When Kyle obediently raised his arms over his head, Kenny slid the hoodie onto him. It was clearly too big for him, riding over his butt and dick, so Kenny gently lifted it up and Kyle continued grinding on him. 

“Hey, you’re right,” said Craig with a nod. “Here, Clyde.” He removed his pants, took his blue chullo from atop his head, and put it on Clyde’s. It hung over his forehead, leaving only a few brown bangs sticking out. “You can wear my hat.”

“Heh, nice. Okay, let’s clap some ass.” Kenny giggled, rubbed his hands together, and spread Kyle’s ass. “Aw, your cute hole’s still all wet from me licking it.”

Kyle didn’t respond, but his eyes did seem...brighter.

Craig moved Clyde’s cheeks to the side; seeing his entrance, all pink and ready to receive him, made his breath hitch and his dick throb. There wasn’t any lube, though. He’d just go slow—no, he probably should do something. 

“Hang on a second,” he said. He knelt down, keeping his hands firmly planted on Clyde; with a few precise licks, his entrance was glistening with spit. It wasn't the best lube, but it'd suffice.

He stood back up, squeezed Clyde's rear, and nodded to the blond. Craig and Kenny laid their cocks on their friends’ assholes and steadily pushed in. The two bottoms tensed up. To all four of them, everything felt slower; Kenny and Craig could see every bit of the other two flexing and wobbling in response to their thick dicks, while Clyde and Kyle could feel every little stimulus coursing over their bodies. Their thighs were squished together, their backs arched, their flushed faces close to one another; the pair's hot breaths were brushing against each other, their chests rising and falling from the heavy panting. 

“Whoa, you’re super tight,” Kenny grunted. “And it feels so soft, too.”

Craig, pushing in deeper, said, “Yeah, it’s the best,” and groaned deep. “We shoulda done this a long time ago.”

“Fucking our best buds, or the horny day thing?”

Craig shrugged, and Kenny decided to leave it be. They both kept pushing further in, though Kenny moved a bit slower than the unconcerned Craig. 

“You don’t need to be so slow with it,” Craig claimed. “They can take it. Right, Clyde?” He thrust forward and spanked Clyde, both with considerable strength.

Clyde moaned, and his voice reached an especially high octave. He nodded. “Uh-huh…” he mumbled, lightheaded and giddy.

“Yeah...I dunno, I don’t wanna hurt him,” sighed Kenny. He gently cupped Kyle’s face with one hand and his hip with the other, softly asking, “You doin’ okay there, ginger stud? I know I’m pretty big—I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m perfectly fine, thanks…” Kyle replied.

“That’s all I needed to know.” Kenny gave Kyle another quick cheek kiss, bucked his hips, and buried his dick deep inside Kyle’s tight inner walls. “Don’t need to be so quiet, though. Tell me how good it feels—let it all out.” His hips pumped back and forth, and his breaths became deeper as he pounded into Kyle's rippling rear. 

Kyle gritted his teeth and sucked in air, an involuntary physical reaction that he didn't think about much. Noticing that, Kenny realized the card didn't seem to change Kyle's instincts…his sexy, lewd instincts~. 

"Kenny, it…"

"Mhm?"

"It feels so incredible! _You_ feel so incredible!" Kyle cried out, eyes shut tight and body burning. "Your huge dick's filling me up, hitting all the right places! I love it!"

Kenny smirked at Craig. "Ain't he just the best lil' bottom ya ever seen?"

"Yeah, he's good, but I've seen better," shrugged Craig. "Clyde, you can talk too." 

Clyde's face immediately lit up; he started to speak, but was so flustered by Craig's nonchalant yet powerful pounding that he tripped over his words. Once he'd managed to find his tongue, he said, "Dude, you're the best at this! Ya fuck me so good...Are you enjoying it as much as I am?"

Craig patted Clyde's wobbling ass reassuringly. "Yeah, man. You feel, ngh, great. Nice and tight and soft, just how I like it."

"I thought it was 'Nice and boring, just how I like it,'" Kenny teased. 

"You calling Clyde boring?" 

"No, not at all." 

"Good." Craig shot Kenny a glare. "Anyway, didn't you mention having them kiss? Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Indeed, indeed, my disinterested buddy."

Clyde snickered. "Don't you mean _dick_ interested?" Kyle and Craig both sighed at that, but Kenny laughed along with him. "So you want us to kiss?"

"I can do that," said Kyle, already leaning in. Clyde did the same mere moments later, and they kissed with blissful moans. Their lips smushed against each other, and they bit & sucked at the other's mouth. 

"They're sho cuuute~" Kenny crooned, squishing both Kyle's ass and face cheeks. "Keep makin' out like that. Ooh, and jerk each other off. I would do it for ya, but I wanna keep my hands on the rest of your thick lil' body."

"Same here." Craig nodded. 

Kyle and Clyde's hands instantly moved to one another's twitching cocks, smeared with drops of sticky pre, and stroked them—softly, yet powerfully. Their bodies became warmer and sweatier, making Kenny’s arm slip off Kyle’s waist as he rammed into him. Kenny quickly grabbed Kyle's waist again, though, and pushed up against him to force him to stand up straighter. His nipples poked Kyle's back. Craig did the same, his hands firmly on Clyde’s hips. Kenny and Craig’s thrusts intensified at the sight of Kyle and Clyde making out and frotting with each other. 

Kenny kissed Kyle’s neck a few times in quick succession. He panted out, “I think I’m gonna…”

“Yep, me too,” said Craig, squeezing Clyde’s soft love handles. “Clyde, Kyle, you guys close too?”

“Mm-hm,” they both moaned. 

“Cool. Okay, Kenny...3, 2—”

However, Kenny had already latched his lips around Kyle’s collarbone and started thrusting with reckless abandon. Cum spurted from his dick and filled the ginger’s hole. Slightly annoyed at Kenny releasing early, Craig thrust once more before cumming in Clyde. Craig’s voice dropped to a deep, powerful pitch as he grunted and groaned. Clyde’s warm, twitching dick soon gushed ropes of semen, and Kyle came last with a whine. Kyle and Clyde kissed deeper, the sticky cum filling their holes and covering their stomachs. 

“Kiss me too, sweetie,” Kenny whispered into Kyle’s ear. 

Kyle turned his head away from Clyde (much to Clyde’s dismay, as he whined) and kissed Kenny. Kenny forced his tongue into Kyle’s mouth and slammed his hips forward as hard and fast as he could. The pounding gradually slowed down, then stopped. 

“That was pretty nice,” said Craig. Aside from a slightly red face and some heavy breathing, he seemed mostly unfazed. 

Kenny quickly agreed and pulled away from Kyle. Kyle tried to stand up, cum spilling from his hole, but stumbled on his shaky legs and fell.

Employing every ounce of charm in his body, Kenny caught Kyle, and held him gently with one hand intertwined into his messy ginger hair. He unleashed the most seductive look he could: hair falling over his face to frame its soft yet masculine features, eyes narrowed enticingly, lips puckered ever so slightly. 

“Don’t go _falling_ for me now, Kyle,” he whispered. 

The sense of calm imposed by the card’s power faded, and Kyle suddenly felt quite flustered. He grabbed the strings of Kenny’s hoodie and yanked on them to tighten the fluffy hood around his face, thereby hiding his extreme blush. Kenny chuckled and smooched Kyle’s nose, which wasn’t covered by the hood. 

He slipped a hand under the jacket to rub at Kyle’s hip and pull the jacket up. “I’m gonna need that back.”

“The jacket? Or do you mean you’re gonna need his ass?” asked Craig. He snorted. 

“That too,” Kenny said, grabbing Kyle’s bruised butt. “It just makes sense. He’s got the fattest ass in town, I’ve got the biggest dick in town—we just go together!”

Kyle raised his arms, letting Kenny pull the jacket off (and leaving his curvy body exposed to several pinches and rubs). “That makes sense,” he said. The jacket squished his face uncomfortably as it was tugged off, so he had to take a second to breathe before continuing. “I’ve thought it over, and I think I’d like to be your, um, friend with benefits. Like you suggested.”

“Awesome!” Kenny beamed brightly. “Now, you mind if I give ya one more kiss, to celebrate?”

“Sure, go right ahead.”

Kyle was expecting another kiss on the cheek or maybe the lips, but found himself rather surprised when Kenny pulled him up, leaned him against a wall, and placed his calloused hands firmly on Kyle’s ass. The pressure he exerted made sure Kyle didn’t fall, so Kenny could easily faceplant into it and kiss his cum-filled entrance. 

“Gotta clean you up,” he said, sliding his tongue inside Kyle and rotating it around to lap up his salty cum. 

Clyde looked at the two, then back at Craig. The calm had faded from him too, and he had full control of himself again. So, he cleared his throat and loudly said, “What’s that, Craig? Kiss you too? Well, I _am_ under the hypnotic trance of these magical cards, and therefore must obey, so if you insist…”

He wiggled away from Craig. Once he could move unrestricted, he wasted no time in throwing his arms around Craig’s neck and deeply kissing him. Craig squeezed Clyde’s butt as their tongues intertwined and explored each other’s mouths, but pulled away. 

He said “I think I’d prefer the kinda kissing they’re doing,” and pointed to Kenny, who was still making out with Kyle’s asshole even though the jizz was all gone. 

“Okay!” 

Clyde jumped away, fell onto his hands, and—oh, he was wall twerking again. Not that Craig minded at all. Squeezing Clyde’s chubby cheeks, he licked up his own cum with efficient and precise tongue movements. The taste was...what regular cum tasted like, he assumed. Nothing bad or good about it, though the warmth was nice, and it was really just an excuse to eat Clyde’s fat ass anyway. Clyde mewled, but kept happily shaking his buttocks, until he abruptly cried out in alarm. 

“My arms are gettin’ pretty tired, dude!” he warned. “I think I’m gonna fall!”

And fall he did, his ass enveloping Craig’s sharp face. Craig was caught off guard by Clyde’s weight toppling onto him, and started to fall back too...but something was below him and Clyde, holding them up. Kenny had dived to them and held out his arms, yet somehow still managed to get his face between Clyde’s thighs so he could give Craig the look. Craig could just barely see his soft brown eyes through all the thickness surrounding his face, but even that small glimpse made his heart race. 

“You’re pretty good at that,” Craig said with a muffled voice.

“Yeah, you get pretty good at dipping people after a while,” said Kenny. 

He helped Craig and Clyde up. Once they were both safely standing up and not about to hit their heads on any hard brick walls, he gave both their booties a hearty smack and smiled. 

“So, you boys thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” he asked. 

Craig shrugged—Kenny could be thinking just about anything. “Go to Paris and get a penile enhancement and fuck French chicks?”

“No! Well, that’s not far off...we use the cards to go around doin’ everybody in town.”

“Are you sure you have the stamina for that?” Kyle asked. 

Clyde snickered, lowered his head, and smirked. “Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. Don’t you know we’re the Chads of this town? Stamina can’t stop us!”

“Yes, you’re unstoppable all right…”

Kenny walked back to Kyle and hugged him from behind. “You wanna come with? I’ve got a few more cards.”

“No, thank you.” Kyle shook his head. “Romping with you was all the satisfaction I needed for one day. Would you mind helping me get my jeans on again? I’d like to go get some food.” 

“You got it!” 

Kenny helped Kyle gather up his clothes and put them on; as he tugged the jeans over Kyle’s wobbling ass, he whispered into Kyle’s ear all the dirty things he’d do to him when he got the chance. Kyle quietly thanked him for the help, hugged him for a moment, and then scampered off. He was _really_ hungry.

Clyde and Craig had already gotten dressed again. Kenny sniffed his hoodie—the pleasant scent of Kyle’s sweat still lingered on it—and did the same. 

“So, boys, you ready?” he asked, clapping his hands and rubbing them together.

“Yep,” said Craig. 

Clyde nodded, his bangs blowing over his forehead. “Uh-huh! C’mon, let’s go paint the town red! Or...paint it _white?_ ” He elbowed Craig once or twice. “Eh? Eh?”

Craig smirked. “Okay, that was actually a good one.”

Clyde held up his hand, and Kenny high-fived him. 

“I think we should start off simple. Pick somebody we think is hot, and go do ‘em,” Craig continued. 

“Sounds good to me!” Kenny said. “I call Tweek!”

“Aw, I wanted Tweek,” Craig complained. “Then I call Stan.”

“Relax, we’ll just switch once we’re done. How ‘bout you, Clyde?”

Clyde swayed his hips. “Uhhh...I think I’ll go for...ooh, Nichole!”

Craig and Kenny nodded in agreement. The three took up their cards and stepped out of the alley into the light of day. With their esoteric weapons in hand, they had become warriors of lust, marching on to their next conquest. 


End file.
